WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
