the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
