I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
