how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
