what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
