she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
