i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
