My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
