oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
