addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
