Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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