Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
