i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
