If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
