My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Randomize
