I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
