I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
