I just cut my nipple shaving
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
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