Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
