You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
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