yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
how do you play pong handcuffed?
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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