WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
i would one night stand the shit outta him
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Randomize
