please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
