I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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