we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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