DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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