I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
