She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
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