# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
She announced her abortion via fbk
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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