We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
