Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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