All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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