I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
