Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
