we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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