we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize