best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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