dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
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