For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
