I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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