quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
