did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
