I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
I am spending my child support on dildos
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
You need a sexual gate keeper
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
