Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
