Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
