I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
