Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
