I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Randomize
