where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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