My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
That's when you crack a 10am beer
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Randomize