I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
