god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
