Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
