Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
