Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I want a musical about memes.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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