You can't motorboat a personality
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
