i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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