im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
