I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
