Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Randomize
