We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize