When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
