im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
