AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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