so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
